14 September 2012
“You want an African boyfriend?” “I don’t
know, you interviewing for the job?”
I have never gotten soooo much attention than I have gotten
here. I mean, if one’s self esteem is pretty low about looks and such, perhaps
Mozambique or Zimbabwe can raise it up.
I definitely feel like a “Hot Bitch” as my friends and I used to call
ourselves during my Triskee years. (Purdue Triathlon Club…sorry have to say it,
Double Trucker Arms – some will understand all that I just said.) There are no inhibitions in the men on
telling you you are beautiful, or that they love you, or even “Do you want an
African boyfriend?” You name it on those lines, I have probably heard it here.
It sure has brought my confidence up about my looks… to a certain extent, cause
many times its said because I am white or that I am a foreigner so the
automatic assumption is I have money (if only they knew!) or that I will bring
them to the US, even when I haven’t hardly said a word to this person. We
exchange names and they ask, “So, when are you going to bring me to America?”
I’ve even had the incidence where they ask that question before we even
exchange names…crazy Mozambicans!
In Zimbabwe, where I was for the marathon. (And, yes, I
completed the marathon, 42.2 km!) men were constantly telling me how pretty I
was. And a couple times I got the straight
out question of “You want an African boyfriend?” And one of those times
was coming from a guy in a crocodile costume… But, it got me thinking. I should
just stop, sit down with the guy, and be like. “Well, yes, that is my dream and
why I came to Africa. I am interviewing for an African boyfriend. Are you
applying for the job?” And then would follow questions… I could definitely use
more ideas on the questions. I am going through Zimbabwe again after I am done
with Peace Corps, and I would love to try this out and see what happens. Here
are some questions I have come up with? Perhaps I’ll get my chance to interview
some guys here in Mozambique also, it’s just that I probably won’t be leaving
site, and the guys here all know me now since I have been here for 2 years. J
-
For the record, what is your name? Age?
-
How old are you? Are you married? Do you have
kids? (Just because they are married or
have a steady girlfriend doesn’t mean they wouldn’t make me their girlfriend
also…)
-
What do you like to do on your spare time?
-
What do you do for a living?
-
What sports do you play? (Important for me to
know what we can play together…) J
-
Do you like to dance?
-
If you could only eat one type of food for the
rest of your life, what food would that be?
-
If there was one thing in the world you could
do, what would you do?
-
If you could live anywhere, where would you want
to live?
-
Would you rather die from an elephant attack or
by a lion? And why.
-
What is your favorite color?
-
Top 5 movies.
-
Would you follow the road more or less
travelled?
-
If you could describe yourself in one
word/adjective, what would that word be? And what word would your friends use?
Livinig in Mozambique, and even traveling through Zimbabwe,
I feel what it must be like to be somebody famous in America. Everywhere I go,
“Mulungu!!!” People automatically come to me and talk to me, sometimes to try
out there English, but it’s basically cause “Look! A white person and female.”
Well, I am sure white guys also get a lot of attention, but I would say still
nothing compared to the men constantly hitting on us. The drunk ones can
sometimes be the worst about it also. There is no hiding in Mozambique.
Everybody knows everything that the mulungu does. I am always being watched.
Any small thing happens, I hear reactions around. It can be great sometimes,
but it can get on my nerves at others. I do like attention, but I also like “my
time.” So, I guess it’s nice to get the
temporary experience of being famous. Good thing I definitely have the option
of leaving it!
And going back the guy thing, I find it funny how here in
Mozambique and Zimbabwe, there seems to be no inhibitions on the side of the
men. I definitely get the feeling in America that typically men/boys are scared
of me. Not scared in the way that they literally run away from me, but that I
am a taller, and kind of a stronger female and that is a bit intimidating for
the typical westerner man. It’s not only a feeling I get, I hear many comments,
comments that aren’t meant to be mean or make me feel bad, and they don’t, but
comments that reinforce my theory. “You are the one girl I wouldn’t want to
mess with.” But here in Mozambique, I think I mentioned it before, but
sometimes men come up and ask others first if I am a woman. “Wasati?” When it
is confirmed that yes, I do have boobs, they go right into hitting on me. But,
didn’t they just think that I was a man??? Oh, and the whole knowing they are
staring at me as I pass them on the street or wherever because as soon as I
pass I see their heads turning a bit in
the infamous surprise saying of “Sheeeeesh!”
I want to think that perhaps they aren’t talking about me and not
constantly staring at me, but when I understand a few words in Shitzwa, I know.
And another friend, white girl, was walking with one of her students in
Vilanculos, and it was confirmed by the student people are pretty much always
talking about us as we pass by.
I am sure if I would travel around with a guy more often, it
wouldn’t feel quite so bad. When I hiked Binga with one of my students,
Agnaldo, we travelled together from Mabote to Chimoio and were around in
Chimoio together and stuff, and it’s like men kept their mouth shuts mostly. I
am sure the assumption was that Agnaldo and I were together, so out of respect
for our “relationship” I wasn’t hit on. . . No, Agnaldo and I are not together.
He is a student. I am a teacher.
Summary of this blog entry: Mozambicans and Zimbabweans do
not seem to be intimidated by my size, strength, or in even some cases
“manliness looks.” Not much actually deters them, even ugly ass clothes… I’ll let you know how interviews go if I get
a good chance to try it out. Expect a follow up blog.
22 September 2012
Worst Films EVER
So many times when I go to the school cafeteria to see what
the students are doing on the weekends or at nights, they are watching a movie
of some sort. I’ve never seen so many absolutely horrible films…and the
students love them. Sometimes they are just extremely cheesy, like one night I
watched the whole movie with them of Anaconda.
I think that is a film most of you might have at least heard of. Most of the
time I can’t make myself sit there with them through most of their films.
Sometimes they watch decent films. I have been able to provide some DVDs that
were given to me by fellow volunteers who had no need for them anymore, so the
students will watch those sometimes. It’s not quite like going to a movie
stadium, though. No stadium seating, lots of talking in the audience going on
(mostly because they are more or less just watching the picture…a lot of the
movies are in English…), and so therefore sound is hard to hear. And then so
many films have no plot or good story line whatsoever.
So what prompted this blog? I just went to the school
cafeteria to check out the film, and I stayed for probably less than 5 minutes. I probably think this every time I
leave a horrible film, but this was the worst film EVER! And the students were
loving it. I guess it had 2 things they seem to love a lot. It was football
(soccer) and a Chinese fighting film. They love the cheesy Chinese fighting
movies. No, I am not talking about the fighting like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, that film was good, to my
understanding. The ones they tend to
watch are comparable to the cheesiness of the old Batman and Robin shows where they wrote out the words “Kapow!”
“Boom!” , etc., except those words
aren’t written out and there is no story line or plot, like I mentioned above.
Let me explain this Chinese fighting football movie I
watched less than 5 minutes of. The game was zero, zero, and was the final game of the World Cup
or something along those sorts. The goalie kicked the ball to go down the field
for the team in yellow. They were all excited and running like crazy ready for
the ball. The team in black easily stopped the ball about midfield. Then it was
like the game paused and nobody knew what to do…no defense. Just the guy who
stopped the ball and the goalie who I think was actually a girl. She moved like
some kind of Ninja ready to receive this outrageous kick from the man in black.
Tension in the stadium and amongst the teams was high and everyone, including
the players on the field just stood around watching. Then the guy in black jumped
real high bringing the ball with him high in the air, then he froze and the
ball froze as he somehow gathered energy from the wind and air around him, and
a dark cloud seemed to enter the ball and at the right moment, he kicked the
ball towards the goal. As it was heading to the goal, it was so fast, it was on
fire with the black smoke trailing behind. The goalie, of course, didn’t seem
worried, as she did some kind of Ninja move and brought the ball up to her
finger where she had it spinning on her finger. Then she and a fellow player
stared at each other, like lovers, and the background music was something from The Lion King. After the spinning on her
finger for some time and creating a wind tunnel around her she tossed it or
kicked it for her players. The lover guy then did some crazy, unrealistic Ninja
move where he jumped high up in the air and probably did like a good 10 spins
in the air with the last spin kicking the ball towards the goal for them to
score. He kicked it so hard and so fast that the field looked like it was being
bulldozed. Players were being blown away or blown with the ball. The goalie
didn’t know what to do, and as he stood there waiting for the ball, his clothes
got blown off and the ball then went through the goal. That was the end of the
game. The team in yellow won the cup. Then I left the movie. I couldn’t handle
anymore.
I guess in a way if they can pull off a cheesy movie and
people are laughing, it did its job… I definitely had to laugh a little at this one. It probably was the
perfect movie for my students. Like I said, their two favorite things it seems
like. . . football and fighting. I think Anaconda
was better than this movie…
18 November 2012 80’s Shoulder Boombox
I know I was pretty young during the 80s, but I am still for
sure an 80s baby. I was born in 1983, the same day the song Total Eclipse of the Heart was released.
Don’t ask why I know that. Perhaps I heard it as I was coming out of my
mother’s womb? Haha. Anyways. The 80s.
Every decade seems to have it’s themes. 80s were the bright color clothes.
Some things of the 80s fall into the early 90s also. But, do you remember you
were cool if you had a boombox on your shoulder as you walked down the
road/sidewalk/anywhere? You had some jammin’ music going and had that giant
boombox up by your ears. True sign off coolness. It occurred to me the other day that the time
of the boombox on the shoulder is over. Yes, I am a bit slow…But now instead of
the giant boombox with a tape deck by your year, it’s your cell phone! That’s
right, folks, the cell phone that plays music.
I probably haven’t mentioned it yet, but many Mozambicans
have cell phones that they put music on. Many times it can’t hold much so it’s
the same songs over and over, but for the Mozambicans, that’s fine. Sometimes
even just playing what ringtones they
have for their phone. The other day at my school I realized why it made
me laugh. It reminded me of the 80s boombox on the shoulder. One of my kids was
walking around with his cell phone playing music by his ear. The end.
18 November 2012 Laughing Chapa
Chapa = looks like a volkswagon minivan thing that has space
for legally 14 passengers and then the driver, but that actually in Mozambique
legally holds 18 passengers and then the driver, but in all actuality holds up
to 27 passengers squished in every nook and cranny you can find inside, with
butts hanging out the window and people looking like they can make out with
somebody else because that’s how close their faces get. Or perhaps you can
literally kiss somebody’s ass because it’s right there in your face as you are
going. Chapa, what a wonderful thing to learn to hate here in Mozambique so
that public transportation in the states will look like luxury.
There are definitely things I am going to miss about
Mozambique, little moments, and yes, sometimes
those moments happen in chapas. For instance, I was heading my way back
from somewhere going back to Mabote, so I had to take a chapa, and was in this
thing for a good 3 or 4 hours, depending on the driver, etc. Many times in the
chapa some people may know each other, but many times not. We are many times
strangers as we travel by chapa. Similar to when traveling greyhound or by
train in the states. But what happens in chapas here sometimes I don’t think I
would ever see in a greyhound bus. We were about halfway to Mabote, and of
course, we will have some drunk people on the chapa, and probably still
drinking. I am not sure what exactly set this laughing thing going, but
somebody sneezed. The first time apparently wasn’t funny, but then the person
would sneeze again, and every time afterwards it was the funniest thing for the
chapa apparently. I wasn’t sure why it was so funny, but that didn’t seem to
matter anymore, cause even I laughed some, not at the sneezing, but the fact
that the whole chapa was laughing and having a good time.
This kind of occurrence is not really just a one time thing.
It can be somewhat more normal in Mozambique. People actually talk to each
other here. It’s great. I was in another chapa kind of more night time-ish,
heading to a friend’s place and the people in the chapa really liked the
driver’s selection of music (this chapa
actually had a working stereo system and music!). It wasn’t music with words,
it was more techno music, what Mozambicans seem to really love. So they bust
out making their own music with the music. One person would do the whistling
with the music, other’s would do the shouting of “oh” at the right moments.
They were on beat with everything, and the whole chapa was really enjoying it.
As much as I hate taking chapas here in Mozambique, when I
have to take on and don’t have the option of hitchhiking, things like that make
the chapa ride a bit enjoyable. Thank you, Mozambique, I will miss that.
18 November 2012 Cone
Only just more recently (like in the last month of so) did I
realize a mistake in language translation that I made that actually is quite
funny. A language boo boo!!!
I knew this word I used made my students laugh for some
reason and I couldn’t figure out exactly why, but I stopped using the word
cause obviously it wasn’t meaning what I meant it to mean.
I’m a PE teacher. I’m a PE teacher here in Mozambique with
little resources, so I had to become resourceful with that I could find and
use. I made these little balls where I put beans or rice inside. They were good
to use for throwing, or as markers on the ground as my “cones”. Before I taught class, as I was planning, I
did look up the word “cone” in my Portuguese/English dictionary, so I could
explain that these balls were my cones
to mark out a square or something or other. The word in Portuguese,
according to my dictionary, is “cone”, making the sound for the ‘e’ at the end.
So, I used it. My students laughed. “What is it, Teacher Mandy?” “My cones.”
If words are not pronounced right, they could sometimes mean
something totally different. For example, some hard ones that I still get
confused, coconut. Coco with the accent on the second ‘o’ means coconut (I
think). Coco with the accent on the first ‘o’ means poop. “No, sir, I am not
making poop milk.” “Can I please have a poop cookie?” Wow, that sometimes
becomes a funny thing. J
Another one, mom. Mama with the accent on the second ‘a’ means mom. On the
first ‘a’ means boob. I don’t think it’s
good to call your mom boob. Cone, apparently, is another one of those, but it’s
more slang, I think. Cone can also mean vagina. So, was I telling my students,
“These little balls are my vaginas.” I’ll let you all just think about that
one… J
